hello my name is....

I am addicted to grocery shopping. Specifically HEB meal deals and coupons.
love it. it is ridiculus. I live alone, me and bridget. am hardly home. yet I have a fully stocked pantry, a crammed freezer and my refridgerator operates at ideal capacity (a full fridge runs with less electricity than an empty one) most of the time.

I have been feeding my obsession with the grocery store by feeding my face to make room for more. not consciously of course (who would on purpose stuff their face?) but I have noticed my feet hurting and I can only guess it is partly from my eating.

I also have been having strong urges to do something "bad". not the random urge to steal bags of chips from sub sandwich shops (I didn't take it, but I sure wanted to for some reason). but an urge to do somethign out of character and wild, something I coudl do as "someone else" and then walk away from and return to my own life.... anyway, the point was, I feel like i compensated for that urge by mistreating my stomach instead, discovered in a bad losing bout Monday night, which happened to be the same night several others i know were also worshiping at the porcelain temple of the stomach gods.

identifying the problem is the first step isn't it? well, the sore feet and the stomach are enough to make me crave my salad and turn me off of mindless eating.

I also have not gotten as much exercise as I used to. yes I am doing my tai chi, but I am not doing bellydancing, and Bridge and I have not been walking due to her limping. Well, she is now using her back foot so we will have to start our exercise on our free nights again, even if the time change does make it dark sooner.

soon I hope to regain my motivation to exercise too. I have been doing lots of cleaning out and osrting of my junk pile on my desk at home. may not help my outside appearance, but definately feels accomplished. :)

my other new motivation: a friend wrote in my birthday card that i am "beautiful inside and out". in that light, I am on a mission to be a more compassionate friend, and stop letting my stress over rule my gentleness. I have found that I have been short with people i care about and not as forgiving as i woudl like to be lately. but am well on teh road to living up to my friend's description, one step, one kind word, one forgiving thought at a time, including toward my own shortfalls.

I really need to write on this thing....
I have been writing....but only on my blog on myspace.
Maybe I shoudl copy some of those and move them here....
But not today, I have to run home and take care of the pup before I run to tai chi class. classmates are testing into their yellow belts this evening so as much I as need to pack and do stuff at home tonight, I can't miss this one.